


Crybaby

by Goldenonyx



Series: Max's Naruto November [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Depressed Naruto, Depression, M/M, inspired by crybaby by waterparks, jounin naruto, sasuke always knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 17:20:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21285347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldenonyx/pseuds/Goldenonyx
Summary: “It’s more than that though. What if they decide they were right? What if they decide that I’m not worth it? What if I get a genin team and they’re disappointed they got stuck with me of all people? What if I become Hokage only to have the village decide I wasn’t what they thought I was? What if-““You could throw around every ‘what if’ question you want and you still wouldn’t get anywhere. People change their minds all the time Naruto, hell I know that better than anybody, but you’ve given no one any reason to doubt you. And those academy kids idolize you, Shikamaru said his team asks about you all the time. They’d probably fight each other to get you as their sensei.”Or Naruto can't help seconding guessing everything and Sasuke just wants him to pull his head out of his ass
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Max's Naruto November [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533464
Kudos: 89





	Crybaby

Over the years it had been easier to mask, but it was nights like these that Naruto allowed himself to give into all of those feelings he’d gotten so good at hiding. It didn’t matter how many friends he had, how many people admired and respected him, all that time he spent alone as a child, shunned for something that wasn’t his fault, that he didn’t even know about, it still stung. He knew that those things helped shape him into who he is, but he was a child- a child left to fend for himself in a world that hated his very existence. He never asked for this, for his parents to die, for the nine-tailed beast to be sealed inside of him; it wasn’t his choice. But people blamed him anyway, because it was easy, convenient for them.

All he had ever wanted was to be seen, and he was, he _knew_ that, but why did he have to work so much harder? It wasn’t fair, it never had been. He knew that he’d done great with the cards he’d been dealt, but just the fact that he was dealt such a hand in the first place was unfortunate. It wasn’t worth sulking over, it was what it was and he was in a much better place now because of it, but those emotions had to go somewhere, so he bottled them up for as long as possible before allowing them to slowly seep out, only to begin the process again. Some nights were better than others, he’d throw himself a little pity party and be set until the next time. Others, like this time, lasted longer, sometimes affecting him for weeks at a time.

He felt it the next morning, when his bones felt a little too heavy for his body, his senses a little too dull. As much as he didn’t want to move, he was a shinobi with a duty to his village, so he swallowed his feelings and headed out to the training grounds where he was supposed to meet with the rest of Team 7. With how busy everyone was these days, Kakashi with his Hokage duties, Sakura with the hospital, and Sasuke with ANBU, they took whatever chances they could to catch up. Naruto had always looked forward to these meetups, they had originally been his idea after all, but not even seeing his best friends seemed to have any effect on him.

By the time Naruto made it over to the training grounds, the others were already there, which would have been clue number one that something was definitely wrong. Nobody said anything, instead greeting him and continuing their conversation, but he didn’t miss the confused glances sent around.

“So, Naruto, how have things been for you? Academy graduation is coming up, are you going to be getting a team this year?” Sakura asked, smiling sweetly at him. Officially, Naruto was a jounin, and everyone who knew him expected that he would be getting a genin team, especially with Kakashi as Hokage, but what they didn’t know was that Kakashi had stopped asking years ago. Naruto wasn’t against having his own team, he would love to have one, but what genin would want to be on his team? Stuck with the village jinchuuriki, when there were plenty of other jounin available. Naruto had given Kakashi all sorts of different reasons for refusing, all half-hearted responses that he was sure Kakashi saw past, but they had served their purpose.

“Fine. And not this year, too much other stuff to focus on,” he merely shrugged, ignoring the eyes boring into the side of his head.

“Is that your excuse this time?” Kakashi asked, his voice uninterested but, after knowing him for so many years, Naruto knew he was looking for a reaction. If Naruto was in his normal headspace, he would have flinched, or laughed it off, but instead he just shrugged, no real fight in him. The eyes continued to burn holes in his head.

The rest of the outing went relatively normal, despite Naruto’s less than ideal mood, but Sakura and Kakashi just carried on. Sasuke continued to focus solely on Naruto, but the other two paid him no mind. As late morning morphed into late afternoon, both Kakashi and Sakura said their goodbyes and headed back to the village, leaving Naruto behind with a silent Sasuke. He could feel it coming, the words Sasuke had been building up all day, and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to leave until he heard them.

They just stood in silence for a while, each waiting for the other to break the tense atmosphere. As the minutes passed, Naruto heard Sasuke sigh, finally turning to look him in the eye. Naruto just stared at him, waiting for whatever was going to happen.

“You’re the best jounin the village has, despite whatever you keep trying to convince yourself,” Sasuke finally said, his eyes daring Naruto to disagree. He just shrugged, shifting his gaze to the trees behind Sasuke.

“If it’s not about a genin team than what is it? We can’t read your mind asshole,” he grumbled, forcing Naruto to look at him again.

“It’s just an off day, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit you’re fine. We’ve known each other for years, you can’t give me that crap and expect me to believe it.” He was right, they both knew it. Naruto knew he wouldn’t be getting out of this conversation, so he wasn’t even really sure why he tried. Stubbornness probably.

“Do you ever just, think about how unfair our childhoods were?” is what he settled with.

“Sometimes, but there’s really no point dwelling on it. Everything in my past lead me to now, and while I have my regrets, you can’t change what’s already happened.” Naruto knew all of that already, but having Sasuke say it out loud stirred something inside of him.

“I know, but it’s just things like people who used to look down on me and avoid me for reasons I had no control over are now nice and friendly towards me. It’s just, I don’t know, weird.” Weird wasn’t really the word he meant, but he knew it didn’t matter what he said, Sasuke understood, he always did.

“They realized they were wrong. It was stupid of them to judge you for that anyway. You already know that, so why is it bothering you now?”

“It’s more than that though. What if they decide they were right? What if they decide that I’m not worth it? What if I get a genin team and they’re disappointed they got stuck with me of all people? What if I become Hokage only to have the village decide I wasn’t what they thought I was? What if-“

“You could throw around every ‘what if’ question you want and you still wouldn’t get anywhere. People change their minds all the time Naruto, hell I know that better than anybody, but you’ve given no one any reason to doubt you. And those academy kids idolize you, Shikamaru said his team asks about you all the time. They’d probably fight each other to get you as their sensei.”

Again, they both knew he was right. Naruto had given the village way more than it had ever given him, and he’d do it again in a heartbeat. He knew that everything swirling around his head was useless, but he needed someone to tell him that. He changed everyone’s opinion of him, he got the acknowledgement he had set out to get. He had achieved so much in his life thanks to his past. Sure, he wouldn’t forget the lives he wasn’t able to save, the missions he’d failed. There would always be more failures, but without them how would he be able to celebrate the successes? Naruto knew the pain in people’s hearts, he knew the hatred and the negative emotions, and despite all of that he also knew the good; the love and the happiness that existed in the world.

“I don’t know, I’m not sure everyone’s ready for me to be in charge of three impressionable genin. Could you imagine?” he chuckled, flashing Sasuke his signature grin. Sasuke just rolled his eyes and turned back towards the village. Naruto followed, rambling about this and that until he had somehow convinced Sasuke to treat him to ramen. Neither one mentioned their earlier conversation, and for that Naruto was grateful. He enjoyed listening to Sasuke talk about ANBU, even if he could only say so much. It wasn’t all that long ago that he had been set on destroying Konoha, it was nice to see that he had found his place. Konoha meant the world to Naruto, as did his team, so having all of that together helped remind him that there was good around him, even if he sometimes forgot.

Three weeks later found Naruto roaming the halls of the academy, taking his sweet time as he made his way to where his new team would be waiting for him. He had been excited, talking to Sakura and Sasuke over lunch the previous week. He had been nervous talking to Kakashi the week before. But now, now he was calm. He still had his worries, but Sasuke’s words stuck in his mind. He has no reason to doubt himself, he’d made it this far, the logical next step for him is to give everything he can to this team.

As he opened the classroom door, the bells in his pocket jingled ever so slightly, and he knew he had made the right decision.


End file.
